I have to say that I was very surprised that Stacey and Tony were voted off of Dancing with the Stars before Jerry and Anna. I really did like Jerry- he is a gentleman and I liked watching him dance but he definitely was not as good as Stacey. But I am so glad that Drew and Cheryl won! He was my favorite from the beginning and he definitely deserved to win.

What am I going to do with out Dancing with the Stars? And the Bachelor ends tomorrow! AGH! But The Apprentice starts up tomorrow along with Deal or No Deal but from what I understand that is just going to be a week long. At least I still have Grey’s Anatomy! 

I just love the sweet expression he has on his face!

This is one of the pictures that I had done for Peter for Valentine’s Day. This is definitely my favorite!

So cute!

I just got through watching the show- we TiVo’d it since we were at WW last night. Man, I just LOVE Drew and Cheryl! Their freestyle dance was so entertaining and he is just so cute! Not as cute as Nick but still cute!

I loved Jerry and Anna’s freestyle too- very entertaining and Im glad the judges finally gave him some good comments about his dancing.

Now Stacey- she has not been my favorite from the beginning. Sure, she is pretty but there is just something about her that I dont like. And I was very disappointed in her freestyle dance- just like the judges. It was just plain and boring.

So- I predict that Drew and Cheryl will win the competition. I suspect Stacy and Tony will come in second although I wish Jerry and Anna would.

Man I love these kind of shows!  

Well, I have to say that I was disgusted that Brenna is still on the show. I just cant stand her horrible attitude. Becky O’Donohue was very pretty but not one of the best singers and Stevie was really sweet but not an American Idol.

The men- not surprised that Bobby Bennett is gone. I dont think he has a good voice and his Copa Cabana song was really bad. I am surprised about Patrick being voted off- I think it should have been Bucky.

My favorites girls are: Paris (she is just so cute), Lisa, Katherine McPhee, Mandisa, and Ayla 

My favorite guys are: Ace, Chris Daughtry, and Elliott.

he went to sleep in less than 20 minutes! That is just almost unbelieveable! And he didn’t wake up this morning until 9:30. Which was a good thing because I took an Ambien last night and I was dead to the world but it was MUCH needed sleep for me.

So the great sleep experiment continues and is much better than I thought it would. We did it with his nap yesterday and it took him an hour to fall asleep but he did sleep for 2 hours. So, he is learning to fall alseep on his own which is the ultimate goal.

And I know- I havent posted any new pictures yet. Will try to do that this weekend!

So Im sitting here at 1:30 in the morning with Drew sound asleep and now I can’t sleep. A few nights ago, Drew started with some night time separation anxiety and he would scream everytime we put him in his crib. Last night he slept in bed with us but Peter and I didn’t sleep very well. So tonight, we started a bed time routine and put him in bed at 9:30 and let him cry. We went to check on him after 5 minutes, laid him back down, covered him up, and left the room. We went back in after 10 minutes and did the same thing. We were prepared to go in a do it again after 20 minutes but he fell asleep. I’m fighting the urge to go in a check on him but I won’t dare do that since it will wake him up. We don’t have the motion sensor on anymore and sometimes I just lay in bed and get almost an anxiety attack thinking that he is not breathing. I know this is not the case, but since Colin died I find myself going in a checking on him to make sure he is still breathing. It might be a bit irrational but I think probably understandable. 

Anyways… I have finished getting the basic look of this blog set up now I have to start uploading pictures. You guys are going to love the pictures that I have to post! I will try and get that done tomorrow! I think my benadryl is kicking in so Im off to bed! Good night! 

I just thought that I would mention if you guys would like to donate to the March of Dimes to help prevent premature births in Colin’s memory, I have a virtual band set up in his name that you can donate to. Here is the link: Colin’s Virtual Band

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everybody for all of the words of support and encouragment you have given to our family throughout this past year. Its so hard to believe that 1 year ago today Colin went to be with God and Ive had a real hard time dealing with our decision to take him off life support but know that it was the BEST decision for him. I find myself always second guessing our decision or wishing that I had more time to spend with him. But Ive been able to find some peace and acceptance with his passing because of the love and support from all of my family and friends!

I am a member of an online support group for women who have lost multiples and its amazing to me that there are women who are farther out from when their angels passed aways than I am and they are still so bitter about things. They are even so silly as to say that just the word “twin” makes them freak out- like when someone says twin bed, twin sheets, etc.. and I think to myself- get a grip people. But what I think is even sadder for them especially those who still have survivors is that they are so consumed with their grief that they are not enjoying the child that is here with them and are letting their marriages fall apart. I was sitting here reading all of your emails and e-cards that were sent and just started crying and there was Drew in the background bouncing in his jumperoo just laughing and giggling and it just made me laugh hysterically. So I know without a doubt that what has kept me sane this year is the joy that Drew has brought to our lives, the support that Peter and I have given each other, and the love and support from our wonderful friends and family.

You guys will never know just how much it means to me that you thought about Colin. Alot of the women on my support list have family and friends who never want to acknowledge that their babies existed and they get ridiculed for talking about their babies. We have chosen in our family to remember and talk about Colin and my cousin’s triplets that passed away in December. They WERE our family and will always be our family. So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done in the past year for us. We are healing and we do have times that we grieve but I also know that I will see Colin again someday soon and I am so looking forward to that day.

Love you guys!

Happy Angel Day my sweet boy!!!! 

Drew and Dr. Mazursky- he loved his beard!!!! 

Drew and Tara! 

Ok- so I meant to put this up yesterday but had a lot going on! I can’t believe that 1 year ago my baby boys were born. I remember that day like it was happening right now. The past year has been a tough one- filled with sorrow and joy. I so wish that I could go back to the old days of being naive and thinking that everything will be ok and nothing bad will happen. But that old me is gone forever and I know just how cruel life can be. I now have a new sense of normal but it will never be like before the boys were born. We went up to the NICU last night and got to see a small portion of the new NICU and it was so nice. I was telling mom, Peter, and Leigh that with my next pregnancies I have already prepared myself for another NICU stay and looking at the silver lining of that situation I said “Well at least we will get to enjoy this new state of the art NICU!” Some people think that I might be pessimistic but Im being realistic. Leigh and I both are being realistic. We both are going to be EXTREMELY high risk for any future pregnancies, being a singleton or mutiple pregnancy. We know how bad things can turn out and so we will go into things without that innocence that we had before. I know that our experience has taught both of us to appreciate what we do have and what we hopefully will have in the future. Love you Leigh- you have been such an encouragement through all of this and I appreciate you more than you can ever know!

So, on to happier things! Drew had his 1 year well-check appointment today. He is now 17.7 lbs and 27 3/4 inches long! For his actual age he is in the 10th percentile for height and under the 5th percentile for weight. For his adjusted age he is much better- like the 30th percentile but I can’t exactly remember. But they also compared his weight to his height and he is right where he should be in that aspect! He got 2 shots today- chicken pox and MMR (measles, mumps, ruebella) and he did ok with them. I did make Peter hold his arms down this time- I have to take him for his montly RSV shots and I just hate seeing him cry like that- it just breaks my heart. But he was a trooper and only cried on the 2nd shot and then he was fine once I picked him up! We have been given the all clear to take him off of formula and put him on regular milk! Let’s hear it for cheaper grocery bills! We can also start giving him table foods- meats, breads, rice, etc but we are staying away from nuts and shellfish since Peter is allergic to them. There is a good chance Drew could be too. We are also going to wean him off of the Prilosec over the next 2 weeks! YAY! So, things went very well today and Drew is a healthy 1 YEAR OLD! He is truly our miracle baby!

Latest LO from the party! Still have more to do! 

Samara got me! This is fun!

What scrapbooking lines/products/etc do you dislike? Well, its hard to say specifics but I guess I would have to say poor quality work.

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to scrap? With out a doubt my scrapbook for my sweet baby Colin. It was very healing for me to do but I rarely ever made it through the page without breaking down and crying. I miss him so much but am so glad that I was able to pull it together and make the wonderful tribute for him.

What technique do you use more than any other? I guess I dont really use a technique- I just go with what I think looks good!

Ever been published? No- Ive never submitted anything for publication. I guess I don’t think my work is up to par.

What’s the smallest scrap of paper you save? I dont- im sans paper!

Ever have any scrapbooking-related injuries? Migraine, eye strain or a back ache. Also, while I was pregnant I had carpal tunnel pretty bad and every now and then it comes back if Im on the computer too long.

Finish the sentence “If I wasn’t a scrapbooker, I would spend my money on: SHOES and purses! Oh and I really like buying cute clothes for Drew!

Give us your best storage or organizational idea. Not really sure about this one since Im not the queen of organization!

You just won a week-long scrapbooking cruise for 5. Who would you take? Oh man- how do I choose? Most definitely my mom! Lauren, Karen (want to pick her brain about photography!), Amanda, and Margie!

After you’ve answered the questions, tag 6 of your scrapbook buddies- will do this later!

Drew is not really sure about this cake! But he sure did get messy! 

Too cute! 

Messy boy! 

Drew’s loot! He got a lot of really great stuff!